"Albino's back, Albino's back, Welcome back....."(Insert the instrumental to Mase is back in your head while reading that). So I guess it's that time again, when I update this crazy little journal. I know all you Albino Gorilla lovers out there love reading this shit, it's like reading Richard Scary stories in the cellar. Or maybe it's like imagining Richard Hamilton in cootchie cutters with flames spray painted on his face guard, either way you end up with stains in your trousers. This job searching thing is tough, especially when you don't leave the house and haven't searched yet. I think i'm more of a renaissance man myself. Now if I had a car, (fuck you deer), then i would be able to sell shit out of my trunk. Just yesterday, I added a new product to my ever growing list, jizz glue. You know what i'm talking about, but you just haven't harnessed the energy of it like i have. Don't you hate it when you jerk off in the shower and jizz goes all over your legs, ladies you know what i'm saying. You'll get out of the shower and you're like, alright i'm all ready to fly a kite! Then as you're flying that bad ass stunt kite with the green ranger on it, you feel a strong tear in your leg hair and other parts of your legs. You look down and BOOM! (not tough actin' Tinactin), but fucking dried up jizz. It's worse then sticking gum to your leg hair, and i'm 100% sure that the sperm-filled white stuff could hold longer than super glue. So why guess if it's stronger, I tested to see. So I got wood, pounded as hard as i could, and uhhhh god.....the wooden dog house for my cat turned out superb and held up longer then a prepubescent boy with Lavetra. After seeing the awesome power of this magical jizz, I decided to bottle it up and make jizz glue! Good for anything that needs a strong hold, and perfect for those ladies out there looking to have skinny albino kids.
Speaking about kids though, some kids need a fucking beat down from someone or their parents, please. God damn, kids these days think they're so god damn untouchable. Now i'm not saying use child abuse, (or am i?!?! hmmmm?), but i think parents should get at least one sneaky ass punch when their kids act like bitches. They could be like to their 2-5 year old, "hey look ice cream, don't you feel better?" , then the kid looks and BAM! fucking punch to the back of the head. Stupid ass kid, if they didn't learn their lesson then at least it will teach them that there's no ice cream truck, retard! It will make your kid smarter, cause then they'll at least listen next time for the ice cream truck music, instead of looking around for his or her dad like a bastard of a child. A punch to the back of the head is the best form of discipline, cause then the child bleeds internally of course, instead of externally.
Boy oh boy siblings in hollywood make my eye twitch.
Ashlee Simpson- Why is she so popular? She's like Aaron Carter with longer hair. Her bands sucks also, WHOA, she mixes a crazy pop punk background to her vocals!!!! That's like insane, if not amazing! That shit was done by Avril Lavigne like last year, and everybody knows with her sassiness and perky tits that she's the queen of punk rock music and anything hardcore. I mean she wears wife beaters, i rest my case. But Ashlee Simpson? Just because her sister has a speckle of singing voice doesn't mean that she's going to inherit the singing genes also. She's supposed to be the sister that gets fired from the Dollar Tree because she thinks she has dreams, then she eventually OD's. Well 1 of 2, she can still OD.
Jamie Spears Her sister Britney is only popular because she's slutty and retarded. But they couldn't just settle for one Spears they had to have two. And her little sister is on All That, what the fuck?!? When I want raw, real, and rugged comedy I always ALWAYS turn to All That then ComicView. Who decided that little Spears was funny? Her sister isn't funny, she's not funny. She can't do anything, why is she on TV? Why are these executive people trying to change these girls destinies? Everybody knows, Jamie Spears is supposed to try to mooch off her sister's wealth to feed her ever growing drug habit. Then when everybody demands Britney Spears porn, Britney turns it down and what's the next best thing her semi look alike sister! And Jamie doesn't turn it down, because she's broke as shit by then, and she needs the job for more heroine. And she can't get any more money off Britney because everybody stops buying into her bullshit.
Siblings never work in Hollywood, just look at Patrick Swayze's brother, Don Swayze. All he wanted to do was become an actor, but the one thing he forgot was not his resume but talent.
I'm out like Michael J. Fox in freeze tag,
BIKER BOYZ 4 LIFE!!!!